Monks don’t pray all day.
That’s one thing Haemin Sunim cleared, looking quite amused that many think that’s all there is for Zen Buddhist monks like him.
While some do live in silence and seclusion, most monks go out and teach and serve communities, he said. And for Haemin, his activities even go beyond that.
As a best-selling South Korean author, his days can be filled not only with words but also color, brightened by his nature walks, travels, and meet-up with fans from all races and religions.
“You know, sometimes people tend to label people and box them in,” said Haemin. “But we all know that we are more than labels, right? More than our professions, right?”
“So people often imagine Zen monks would just go and do retreat in a mountain temple and meditate all the time. But that’s just a part of it,” he added. “The other part is to go out to the world and share the knowledge and wisdom, so that we can help other people.”
Since releasing his first book in 2012, The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down, Haemin has been a celebrity monk of sorts. So much so that he had his own share of controversies.
Back in 2020, Haemin got featured in a Korean television show and drew criticisms for his secular lifestyle in Seoul, with his material possessions seemingly contradicting Buddhist teachings. He eventually apologized, withdrew his public activities for a time, and returned to monastic life.
But in times of “suffering,” as Haemin would say, there’s always wisdom.
“Sometimes I read my own book, you know,” Haemin said with the bedimpled smile he’s known for.
“I think that’s one of the misconceptions, that since you’re the one giving advice you know everything. But knowing and practicing, they are two different things.”
“One of the practices of a Buddhist monk is being mindful,” he added. “I become mindful of my emotional state, mindful of thoughts. So rather than being overwhelmed by thoughts or overwhelmed and controlled by my own emotions, I step back and become aware.”
“As soon as I do that, then there’s a space all of sudden,” he said. “You are not caught in those emotions or thoughts. Rather, there is a greater space which helps you to respond rather than react.”
It’s these types of reflections that has drawn many to the 51-year-old monk’s self-help books. His second came in 2016, Love for Imperfect Things, and the latest, When Things Don’t Go Your Way, was recently launched in Manila, with Haemin himself meeting his appreciative fans at Fully Booked BGC, some sharing how his words helped them rise from their lowest points.
“One of the reasons why people connect to my book is because I am talking about our everyday. You know, feelings and everyday — frustration and anger and disappointments, which are all universal,” Haemin shared to Rappler.
“So whether it’s about feeling disappointed or feeling like you cannot live your life like the way you want it because of the social pressure or family pressure — you know, what am I going to do? — I write about it,” he said.
“It comes from my own personal emotional suffering, and then that inspired me to write about it, because this is all relatable — life disappointments or somebody hurt you.”
Obscure columnist
Perhaps Haemin’s relatability also comes from his stories before fame, when he was unsure of what to do with his life.
Born in South Korea and educated in the United States — he studied at Berkeley, Harvard, and Princeton — Haemin initially wanted to study film but wound up drawn to spiritual teachings.
Haemin eventually had formal monastic training in South Korea, joined the Jogye Order, the country’s largest order of Buddhism, then later taught Asian religions at Hampshire College in Massachusetts.
“I think one thing led to another. Yes, it just happened,” Haemin said.
“I never thought that I would be sitting here in Manila and talking about my books in English. Because when I first started writing, about 25 years ago, I was asked to write a very simple Buddhist column in a very obscure newspaper. I never ever imagined that someday my writing would be read by different people all around the world.”
Even when he writes, he said, it’s not coming from a mindset of publishing a book.
“It’s not like I sit in front of a computer and start writing. No, I live my life and then there’s a moment of suffering, a moment of emotional state, you know conflict, then I say okay, there’s suffering within me,” he said.
“You know what’s happening, you know what’s the cause, what’s the nature of this suffering, and then from that comes observations and wisdom.”
Haemin’s three books, all translated into different languages, comfort with their simple words and colorful illustrations.
They’re easy reads, all personal essays interspersed with nuggets of inspiration or food for thoughts like: “People choose what is familiar, even if it will only perpetuate pain, because that is the only devil they know.”
“Whether we like or not, each and every person has his own share of suffering — whether it’s a loss of your parents or your loved one, you got fired from your job, or your closest friend moved to another city and you feel so alone,” he said.
“Maybe prior to that experience, before that moment of deep emotional suffering, then you’re not bothered to read any book about this. But sometimes when you have that experience, it wakes you up. Suffering wakes you up and makes you realize what truly matters.”
Although he knows that a self-help book isn’t for everyone, he’s just happy to offer advice to anyone who needs it.
“I think they are serving different needs. But it’s very interesting because once the book has been published, I feel like they have their own life. A life of their own,” said Haemin.
“They go on living, being translated into multiple languages and touching different people’s hearts. So it’s a little bit like children. They are growing up and going out to the world and doing their own thing.”
Whether his books feel helpful or hackneyed, Haemin doesn’t mind, saying there’s always a bigger purpose.
“The whole point of this practice is so that you realize that you are not an independent, isolated being, you are actually one, you are part of the world, you are interconnected,” he said.
“So what that means is that from this spiritual wisdom of oneness, you go out to facilitate, help people to realize — if you want to become happier, you have to think less about yourself.
“When you’re concerned about the well-being of those people around you, then what’s interesting is that this very feeling not only makes you feel connected, but you feel expanded. And thereby, you feel happier, more grounded and peaceful.” – Rappler.com